[Sex or Weightlifting, by Matthew A Johanson]
I had 7 hours of lecture today so I came up with a list of reasons why Utah is better than Italy. I won't rank them because they are all important. Enjoy!
The women. Utah has poster children for eugenics- blond hair blue eyed and inbred. Italy has the girls that work at intemessimi (or however you spell it) and thats about it
The religious sites. The Temple is at least THREE times as impressive as the Vatican
Food. Who needs Bisteca Fiorentina, gnocchi, and pizza when you have Shooting Star Burgers
3.2 beer vs. Chiantis and Barollos... this one might be a draw, but PBR is only $1 six days out of the week
Utah fashion rocks (temple garments, for example) You can't even pronounce most of the clothing in italy... Ver- say- si?
The mountains in Utah have ONE lift to the top, while in Italy you have to take three long trams. How inconvenient!
Utah has sick skiers shredding the gnar and telling you 1. how they turned down roles in TGR and MSP films 2. How sweet they are 3. How money/ill/blower/rad/gnarly that last run was; while Europe is filled with sissys who ski only the marked pistes at very slow rates of speed
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