More Cowbell

First the bad news, then the good news. Courmayeur has a fever, and the only cure is apparently NOT more cowbell. Sorry Christopher Walken, but in Courmayeur, the only cure is more grooming. We’ve already brushed over the grooming situation, but what you may or may not know is how vehemently I feel about destroying all groomers. I would actually consider going all “Monkey Wrench Gang” on groomers, except for the fact that only dirty hippies like The Monkey Wrench Gang. Reason number 8.039.039 (note the euro number system) why groomers are the worst invention since colonial-era British military formations is that the groomers compact soft and wet snow, creating wonderful sheets of ice, complete with indented snowcat treadmarks to destroy your knees. It’s been warm here for over a week, and they groom all the trails every night. Can anyone guess what this means? At Killington, it would be called a “great 50-inch base”. At Bretton Woods, it would be called “2 inches of new snow!!!”. But in my book, it’s called really hard ice. It hurts when you fall, you can’t get an edge in (even with alpine skis), and it is not going to get any better because it causes everyone to slide right over it. When I own a ski mountain, obsessive-compulsive grooming will not be allowed!

The good news is this: everywhere that hasn’t been groomed is still actually pretty good. In the trees and anywhere else that doesn’t get a lot of sun, the snow is soft and forgiving. We need more snow though.

So grooming turns skiing telemark into an excersize in self arrest (Swick might want to try this). But there are still lots of wonderful things about skiing in these shitty conditions in Europe. For instance, this weekend Michela, Evan, Liz, and I skied. We also stopped to have lunch at a bar. Please remember that bars in Italy are not like bars in the US. A bar here is where you go for cappuccino in the morning. So we stopped for lunch, and I got this delicious plate of potatoes with melted cheese and speck. It puts Cannon Mountain Hamburgers to shame, and it only costs 5 euro. Plus, you can get beer, or wine, or grappa. Eating here really puts the fun back into Funivia.

Other items making the list of pros include the weather. When I was in Courmayeur in August 2005, it was cloudy a lot. Yes, I know that we all come from a place that gets 366 cloudy days a year, even leap years, but the Italians were not pleased. As a matter of fact, I was not able to climb anything that entire month because the Italians apparently do not go outside when it is cloudy. This was exceptionally irritating, especially because I had been hiking all summer and was in great climbing shape. I was annoyed that they would not do anything because of clouds.

A lot has happened since I last wrote, but something that has not happened is this: it has not snowed. Now, I think pretty much all three people reading this are from New England, and we all know that a winter without snow can only mean two things: awesome ice climbing, or freezing rain for weeks on end. Some of you avid outdoorspeople might be thinking that freezing rain and good ice climbing usually go hand in hand in New England, but who asked you? But don’t despair! I now understand (partially) why Italians are so hesitant to anything when it is cloudy. It’s not because the mountains are so high that clouds down low could mean snow up high, but rather because they are not accustomed to clouds. Since it last snowed, it has been perfectly clear and sunny every day. I’m not going to count, but that’s almost two weeks of constant sunshine. Ridiculous! This has never happened in the history of New England, I am sure.

Constant sunshine does spell doom for the groomed runs, as I mentioned before, but it opens up a few exciting doors. First, you can sit outside without hats and gloves to eat your delicious lunch. Second, everything is warmer here. It doesn’t really get “cold” in town. It will snow, but 25 degrees Fahrenheit is not bad (to us). I can walk around town for hours without a hat or gloves. That’s nice. Most importantly, though, sunshine means that you can go do things at altitude. This place is a playground. You take a tram up, go climb something, and stop at a bar for lunch before climbing something else. I can’t wait for people to get here so that we can go explore. Even without the skiing, there is so much to do in the mountains. Today I went for a hike from Punto Helbronner, towards the Dente del Gigante. It was a gorgeous day, and I was able to hike in just my long underwear top. It was great to get the crampons out, and scope out the possibilities when someone else is with me.